If you watch television by now you must have come across the commercial of J.G. W……. They have shown it from several angle the latest of which is an opera style rendition, but the hook of the commercial is constant. Love it or hate it the jingle is catchy and its repetitive structure causes involuntary memorization….”Its my money and I want it now…” Well the other morning I woke up a little tooooooo early feeling a feeling I am all to familiar with and in my mind’s mind I heard that jingle….well… the tune of the jingle ….the words however, went a little like this….”It’s my body and I need “xes” now…..and believe it or not the J.G W….was also part of MY jingle…LMAO go figure.
Now let me warn you ….if you are religious, squirming or live in the town of “Lord help me Jesus I need a cold shower” and the word “ynroh” is not in your vocabulary, then this post is not for you! If you hide your God-given sexuality under a proverbial rock and plead the blood, or rebuke the devil every time the urge for “xes” comes knocking then I advise that you….stop reading, click either the back button or close this window, and go back to the last thing you were doing before you came across my blog, because it’s about to get real “ciffarg” …after all the name of my blog is “Life As I Live It” and I’m keeping it “lear”. I was late for all the coming out parties that marked a girl’s passage to womanhood 🙂 …….I was almost fifteen before I had my first “bloody mary” , at sixteen “my lips” were covered for the very first time, and I’m not talking about lip gloss either *wink, wink* 😉 , “the girls” were still in a vest and trainers all the way through third form, yeah that’s right 3rd form, and I was almost nineteen when I first “climbed a mountain” . Now I am all grown up and a single mom with a very perceptive child who is not afraid to show her disapproval or voice her opinions….here’s an example…I can’t even walk around in my own room on a hot day in my undies without this child saying “mommy you know you don’t have on any clothes “….(it’s not a do as I say not as I do generation they will pull your card). Ok so imagine me dating around her……aint happening. Dating with a child is not the easiest thing to do it’s too much work, plus I don’t think I am the marrying type. Now its been a while, a verrrrry looooong while since I have “scratched the itch, put out the fire down under, fiddle the diddle, had the wick wet….or what ever”.
I am not practicing celibacy, or promiscuity, but am I not a wall flower…..at least not anymore *hands behind back, head bowed while doing a nervous foot shuffle*. The urge is always there, but every honest woman knows that there are certain times each month when that urge becomes a beast with a mind of its own. An overpowering desire that no mind bending exercise, hallelujah or praise the Lord, blood of Jesus or cold showers can quell…ladies you know what I am talking about. Oh its real…like an animal in heat it’s so real, and like a werewolf with a conscience who locks himself away when the moon is full to avoid the bloody carnage and the morning after guilt, so too I lock myself away during my proverbial full moons. During these times I usually take lots of cold showers, stay off of eye candy or try to read a book or two. It’s not always successfully and I would often resort to going to bed real early and avoid watching tele all to fight the urge to masturbate. Unlike most women I hate masturbating and I don’t do machines. God wired me for the real deal….mastubating can only do so much, plus I hear carpal tunnel is a bitch, (if you didn’t get it you missed it LOL). I relish the feeling of that warm firm muscular shaft tunnelling its way thru the gold mine, on its quest for my special blend of maple brown suga sugar, the feel of manly hands palming the curve of my ass; the contours of my hips, into the valley of my waistline making its way up and over the mound of my breast and gently squeezing the peak between his fingers, and tasting victory with his tongue before covering it with his full mouth…..rendering me helpless and submissive…….
Now I am not verbally “lauxes”……my actions do the talking…LAMO! In the begining….the early days I was so naive and intimidated all I did was just “play dead” … I think the word was missionary……LOL. Now I am older and wiser 🙂 ; I know what I want, and how I want it; I know my body and what it responds to; knowledge is power and power feeds confidence. I am finally confident in my own body and skin. When I tell folks that I was so insecure growing up, they look at me in disbelief and comment…girl you were hot!…..funny how looks can be deceptive…if I looked hot I did not dwell on it because inside I struggled with so much. It was even harder in highschool because I was late for everything. I hung out with all the boys and was one of the guys because I felt inadequate to fit in with all the other girls. I often wondered what its like to just have “xes” with anybody just for the hell of it, or what its like to be a “xes” addict or a nymph or to have as termed locally “white liver” ….I can’t just sleep with someone because I am “ynroh” or need to break of a little sum’tin sum’tin. I am old fashion like that, we have to connect on a mental level ……of course physical attraction is a MUST.
I love having “xes” like any living warm-blooded woman but I am a romantic at heart; turned on by the simplest gestures and encounters. Long leisurely strolls, picnic in the park, lying on the grass at night and star-gazing, playing a good board game of boggle, scrabble, taboo pictionary and the likes. Afternoon lunch dates, dinner and a movie…..gestures from the heart.
Just talking about it makes me remember and miss the dance of courting..you know…the getting to know you before I take you phase….the energy and “lauxes” tension…the sparks that goes off just at the thought of a first “ssik” and the firestorm that’s ignited when you actually do; oh and the explosive energy released when the rocket has been launched.
Until next time….